Song of the day: DIA - Woo Woo

(Trish from Austin and Ally voice) Guess who has a cold?!? :) That's right, me. This is basically a running gag in my life at this point---every time the season change, I get a cold, and every time I think it's allergies at first, although this time it only took me about two days to wise up. And so, my past few days have been death by a thousand paper cuts, or rather death by a thousand paper tissues. (Did that joke work? Hmm.) Anyways, I've been trying to space out my DayQuil doses, and I think I've finally hit the best: one a few hours before bed, and then one every few hours during the night, since congestion is worst during the night. God willing, I won't be too congested tonight! Pray for me, y'all, because if y'all follow my blog, you know my colds are normally knock-down, drag-out affairs. Oy.

Meanwhile, these days I've been growing very nostalgic for Windows XP, so next time either I visit home or one of my parents visits me for the weekend, I'll end up having one of my white early Intel iMacs, which I should've posted about over the summer sometime, and dual boot it with XP! Maybe if I get extra courageous, I'll triple boot OS X with XP and 7, since it can run both, although the specs might be a bit low for 7, and anyhow I already have my 7 PC. I'll have to see how it turns out, and if I decide I'd rather have 7 I can always switch out the two computers later. Anyways, I'm really excited, though also a little nervous (probably not the right word but oh well) that it might not even work. I know the wi-fi is too old to work, but the ethernet should still work, as long as the school IT staff don't try and block XP from the network. They oughtn't! >:(

Besides that, classes haven't been too bad this week so far---I even had a decent amount of free time this evening! If only every night were like that... Last week, however, was busy as all get out!!! Blue visited on Thursday, but could only stay long enough for a brief tour, sadly, but it was still splendid to see him! And I know a crap tonne of other stuff happened, but I don't know what. Actually, I did go to my first party this weekend!

*record scratch* No, no, it wasn't a loud frat party like in Wattpad, y'all know me better than that. My friend hosted a Halloween party at their apartment, and it was me, them, their roommate and their roommate's friends. It was quite fun---definitely not frat party vibes---although kind of awkward as everyone else mostly knew each other, and I only knew the one person. Plus, I was the only sober one for most of the night. That made it sound like I wasn't sober for part of the time, but I was, but everyone else wasn't except for one person of a couple that stopped in for a while. And because they got there late, we could only start the pumpkin painting and the voting thereupon (which was all splendid, by the by, as was the food) relatively late, which meant I got in late, which meant that I went to bed properly late, alas! But overall, despite my complaining, it was pretty fun!

And that's about it, or at least all that I can remember. I'll talk to all y'all later---toodles, and if I don't talk to you again before then, happy Halloween!

Published on Tuesday, October 29, 2024, at 10:18 PM.

Song of the day: April - Mwah

So, this week is everyone's favourite time of the year, registration time. My assigned registration date was today, and so I had to wake up at 6:45 AM and log on-line before the freaking SUN was up!!! I had already planned ahead which classes I was going to take, but of course everything couldn't go without a hitch. I got into 4 of my classes perfectly alright, and then there was Statistics. Ah, Statistics. I have to take it to graduate, and there are about three or four instructors, but from my smart little Rate My Professor pre-planning, apparently one of them is an angel and all the others are insanely incompetent. (If professors are so incompetent, why the hell does the university keep them on?)

Anyways, I went to sign up for this instructor's class, and somehow it was ALREADY full, with a couple people already on the waitlist. I managed to get on the waitlist, but considering my college's class sizes I'm relatively far back, I worry. What in heck am I going to do if I don't get into this class? And I have to take a linguistics class, too, and because of this statistics class I have to take it with the worse of the two professors, apparently, in some weird on-line/in-person hybrid. Argh! At least I get to take British Literature. SAVE ME BRITISH LITERATURE!! :(

Beyond that, this week has been relatively uneventful, besides the usual "grind". I stopped in about 30 minutes before class Monday to ask my English professor a question during her office hours, and she somehow roped me into setting up an appointment with her to discuss my upcoming presentation and it took me about 15 minutes to ask the question I had come in there to ask. (Let me state for the record that asking and answering this question was a two-minute affair MAX.) I was trying to figure out whether a courtroom K-drama (Extraordinary Attorney Woo, to be exact) was crime fiction enough to present on in a crime fiction class, and somehow she briefly mentioned that she had seen Crash Landing On You thrice, and wait WHAT? Because I LOVE that drama, but she just glossed over it when we COULD have been nerding out about it together. And she mentioned to me a bunch of stuff she was about to mention in class anyways.

We're currently reading The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo for that class and I think it's pretty good, I suppose, but we have to read about 150 pages a week, which is a LOT. That's been eating up a good bit of my evenings this week, and then since Blue is coming to visit today (WOO WOO WOO) one of my suitemates and I spent a good part of last night organizing our terribly mancave-looking living room. It WILL stay this way and will not become mancavey again, or God help me because I will probably go insane. But I'm excited for the visit! It's been too long since I saw my biffle. :) Anyways, that's about all for now, because after the registration debacle, I still have an actual CLASS today---the audacity, and I don't mean the software! Talk to all y'all soon!

Published on Thursday, October 24, 2024, at 7:44 AM.

Song of the day: X1 - X1-MA

OK, did I mention my roommate drama last time? I don't think so. Well, the one I shared a room with moved out! It's a real shame, because even if she had drama with other inhabitants of our suite, I thought she and I got along really well! I just hope we can still be friends. She moved out in the middle of the week, which must've been a lot, since she's normally mega busy anyways---I'm talking she seldom came back to our room before nine or ten at least because she was studying in the library. But anyways, it was also a lot for me that day A) because I was sad about her leaving and B) because I was violently ill. I think I must've caught something from my little cousin, who I visited over my long weekend last week, because apparently he was also sick. So my roommate was moving her crap out whilst I was knocked out on my bed from some Nyquil/acetaminophen my suitemate gave me to try and deal with my fever and get me to sleep the illness off. Thankfully, it only took that and then a day and a bit of vegetating for me to be all better, but it was not fun at all.

Speaking of not fun at all, because I was sick, I had a pile of work to catch up on later in the week, which was absolutely monstrous and meant that even yesterday, I didn't really get free time. I mean, I don't think being sick counts, although I did get to watch quite a lot of Netflix. But it once more feels like it's been a bloody age since I got to work on the site, which sucks because I have ideas for updates I want to do at long last. During breaks I have too much free time, and during the semester I have too little---what is this, Goldilocks and the Three Extra Credit Hours? To any high schoolers out there, let this be my big-sister advice to you---if at all possible, do 12 credit hours instead of 15. Seriously, I'm only doing 16 credits this semester (slightly above the normal) and it's biting my rear, although apparently according to Blue, who's at some super fancy selective college, my college has more busywork than his. GO BLOODY FIGURE!!! I bet Rory Gilmore didn't have to do this much crap at Yale. Speaking of...

It's finally Gilmore Girls autumn! The other day, I noticed a tree on campus that I always pass in the morning is turning this really pretty bright red. Blue sent me a photo of a tree up in the Pacific Northwest where he is a week or two ago and referenced that song that plays in the first scene of Gilmore Girls ("theeeere sheee gooooes" and all that) and I was so jealous, but now I finally have my "there she goes" tree! OMG. I should totally go and read under that tree one day soon! When it's not quite so bloody hot as it is today (I naively thought the last bounce to unseasonably high temperatures would be the last) but not quite so bloody cold as it was the other day. Whatever happened to happy mediums??

In other news, since the whole Ghosting Fiasco, I've decided to try and force myself (and believe me, it's quite hard) to not pursue any relationships for at least a little while to let things calm down. I don't know, I don't want to go into it in a desparate frame of mind or anything, since it was literally just feeling lonely that made me go onto dating sites last time, where I met him. But then, maybe since I don't feel desparate and lonely right now, it's a better time to try and find a guy since I'm in the right frame of mind? I'm really not sure what to do, I just don't want to rush into anything. But then, I'm not sure if that even was rushing into anything. My 14-year-old self's e-relationships that crashed and burned were definitely due to feeling lonely and rushing too quickly, but maybe this was just a normal thing with a normal guy that went wrong.

But anyways, between that and whatever happened with my roommates, and a couple of acquaintances where I can't tell if they like me or hate me, my life recently seems to be rife with interpersonal drama for some reason. When did I become such a drama magnet? Maybe I should open a storytime YouTube channel, because this month of October has been a helluva one for me! And I still have no clue what I'm going to be for Halloween.

Speaking of, I'm going to my first college party soon---a Halloween party! And by party, I mean a friend from my English class, said friend's roommate and a couple of said roommate's friends, but it's a party nonetheless! And probably much more my speed than the stereotypical college party. There will apparently be alcoholic punch, but I'll have some of the nonalcoholic instead, partially because I have to walk back to my dorm afterwards and partially because it just doesn't seem like a me thing to do. I will admit, I am tempted, but the sense in me says no and I doubt I'll regret not drinking. But yeah, I just don't think I'm really the drinking type. My mother asked me once if I had ever tried drinking, and when I said no she was not at all surprised :P. And if I ever do start drinking, it's gonna be some fruity little drink because you know I can't shoot whiskey.

But yeah. I have been feeling a wee bit lonely this week, but I think that's mainly because A) I was sick so I was confined to my room and B) my roommate moved out---it's a lot quiter without her and I'm not sure how I feel about that! But besides that, I'm doing well. I ended up getting a 94% on my compsci midterm that I was talking about last time! It's a bit weird to think that I was in such a strop over studying for it and it turned out to be nada. Thank God! And I think I don't have class tomorrow either, since tomorrow is an optional midterm retake. It's about to be party time!! Come on shake your body baby do the conga I know you can't control yourself any longer, etc. etc. So yeah! Sorry for the super long blog post again, but I'll try and do more frequent updates here and on the site overall from now on! I really love surfing through fun sites and working on my own so it's a shame I don't get as much time to do so as I'd like. Anyways, I'll talk to all y'all later! Toodles! :D

Published on Sunday, October 20, 2024, at 2:54 PM.

Song of the day: DIA - Hug U

Well, ho-lee crap. Over two weeks without a blog post---since when does that happen?? Let me tell y'all, some stuff has been going down at college which has meant that I haven't been able to blog. For one, this week (I'm now on a break) was midterms week, so it was absolutely hectic, and beyond that, last week was just absolutely harrowing in terms of my personal life---like the kind of week that goes down in my personal history. Let me just tell y'all what the heck has been going on with me. But here's a warning: you've got a doorstopper of a blog post incoming!

Firstly, there was a whole situation with this guy I was talking to. He and I were texting back and forth and he was a total sweetheart---a real, all-American type of country guy I could take to meet my grandparents, if that makes sense. But then I realized I had forgotten to make sure he knew about, and was okay with, my being trans. After some consideration, he said that that was "probably a dealbreaker" but he still thought me sweet and wanted to continue our conversation. After a day or two, I began to hope that I might still have a chance. One night he texted me asking if I wanted to call, but I didn't see it until the next morning. I said sure, if he still wanted to, we could do so that night. He sometimes would take a while to reply to texts, so I didn't really raise an eyebrow when he didn't reply that day, and I proposed the next day instead. And still nothing. I was ghosted.

It sucks because he was such a sweetheart. If you know me, you'll know that my past attempts at finding a boyfriend have all been...unsuccessful in various ways, shall we say. But I don't recall any of those attempts being like this one. My last attempt to get a boyfriend was at 15, on the tail end of a string of ill-advised e-dating relationships, which scared me off dating for quite a while. But this didn't really seem like the childish puppy "love" I had in my heart back then, which, at least retrospectively, seems more like infatuation than anything. This time felt different. We were only talking for maybe a week and a half, so I didn't fancy myself in love with him or anything, but I received attentions from him such as I had never before received, which encouraged some sort of real affection for him. I know this is only my first try at actually getting into a relationship in college, so this failure isn't a reason to despair myself of any hope of finding love and go off the rails or anything, but it's still quite unfortunate. But this did at least help me realize that I'm a monogamous crush type of girl---talking to this guy pretty much destroyed my crush on the Cutie Patootie, and I realize now even moreso than I did at the time that I don't think he and I would've been so very suited to each other after all. I think I'll hold out for my English major boyfriend, thank you very much. I mean, I am taking a British literature class next semester...

...And if that weren't enough for a week, there was also roommate drama last week! I shan't divulge too many of the details, for I think one of my roommates has this site's address (although I would've rather preferred to keep it a secret for the time being---even in high school only my very closest friend ever saw my site---the roommate asked so suddenly that I didn't even think about it) but perhaps after it's all died down I can spill the beans here. Suffice it to say, something almost laughably trivial blew up a bit and my roommate (the one with whom I share a bedroom) is moving out. She and I have always gotten along quite well and I've enjoyed living with her, so I'm sad at her leaving, and I really hope that she and I can continue to be friend! I just hope that if they move someone in in her place, they're a cool person! And hopefully a girl, to be honest---our suite is two girls and two guys, and I don't know how I feel about living along with two guys. Not that I think they're going to take advantage of me or anything of the sort, but it still makes me uncomfortable for some reason. I can't see myself ever living alone with a man besides a husband, or maybe a boyfriend depending on what kind of relationship we had---but even then, that feels to me like a huge step. But I digress.

And then to top a bloody insane week off, my club where we teach English to foreigners lost a child. I don't mean as in a child died, like my mum thought at first, and now that I think about it it was more a parents lost their kid a minute or two after leaving our lesson, but it still probably shaved a few minutes off my life. This family left with everyone present and healthy and all, and then about two minutes later one of the parents came back asking "have you seen my son?". Cue panic. We looked for him around the building where we teach, and couldn't find him on our floor. Well, #@$%. By this time the students who were still there joined in looking, and we were all running and scrambling in every which way. Personally, I ran down a staircase, out a door, into a door not twenty feet away, and up and down so many flights of stairs I probably got my cardio in for the year. No dice.

At this point, we also had people searching the parking lots and surrounding buildings, and I was swearing quite a bit, although it was under my breath and in French so hopefully nobody understood me?? (I really need to kick my French swearing habit, by the way LOLL) We eventually found him after half a freaking hour next to this little fountain a decent ways away from the building, where thank God two girls in my friend's dorm had sat with him and called the police because this poor lost child who didn't speak English was clearly going through it. And so that was that, thank God. AGH!

Next to all that, my computer science midterm the other day seems like small cookies, even though I was really anxious about that. We had to write the code out by hand ourselves, and I expected it would be a lot more difficult than it was. It was less excruciatingly, life-choice-questioningly hard and more like a fun challenge with a grade attached. At least I hope so! I don't know what I'd do if I failed that test, but I doubt that I did. Anyways, now I'm on my fall break, and so I'm back home writing this!

I had quite an interesting day today---I visited my old high school! There was some renovation and classroom reshuffling over the summer, and my French teacher finally got a classroom! (Before, she had had her office in this sad little basement looking room that I think had used to be an overgrown supply closet with a couple of other teachers, and she had to bring all her supplies around from class to class.) It was lovely, and I got to see all my old friends and all. It seems like absence really does make the heart grow fonder, because people who seldom paid me a whit's notice before were suddenly so excited to see me! Or perhaps I was more well-liked than I remember. Though I will say that only one or two of the jocks (if you could call them that---my school's "jocks" were most definitely not the typical jocks. Although I suppose my perception of what a jock is is based mostly upon that bastion of cultural representation known as Wattpad.) paid me any notice---but I never was fond of most of them anyways. That's not to say that I disliked them, really, but I'm not so sure that they liked me and I wouldn't have gotten along with them anyways, in all probability, besides the couple who were nice to me.

Speaking of people who were nice to me, this one random girl I'd always seen in the halls but never spoken to in my life came up to me today! It was nice talking to her---we yapped for probably forty-five minutes, and it was a very pleasant interlude. (Although I did remember today that I'm still not out to anyone from my high school...yikes! I wonder when I'll come out to them. My remaining friends I probably shall before long, although most of them are seniors and juniors this year. But I digress.) Anyways, I saw pretty much all of my old teachers I wanted to see, although my history/psychology teacher was only able to wave at me before she had to leave. But it was a really fun time! I promised that I'll try and go back for their fall musical soon if I have the time---I want to go and support my old theatre buddies! :) Overall, it was a lovely time and made for a good (though busy) day. And that's about it for now. Here's to hoping that henceforth I'll blog much, much more often. Thanks to you for reading this and I'll talk to you soon! :)

Published on Thursday, October 10, 2024, at 9:23 PM.